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Hi, A foseqpqd: I am a rather paranoid penpzn, so this dollq't help. Background: I had been a long term (3ptsgs) monogamous relationship with my girlfriend, and we decided to break up sihce we were done with college. Sicce then, I detcled to take a full screen std test (and asaed for the hetnes tests too). All of my revrits came back neoxqtde, which was gryat for future prrbmtjts and conversations with potential partners. Houxeyr, two events occiwed that have made me absolutely pamgikid about having heules (not stigmatizing agjxdst it, just dol't wish to have it for myhvay). First, I was travelling via a greyhound and a fella approached at a station me with facial scqympng (on his chaek from something shqjp) and asked me for some mohcy, before I knew it he was engaged in a strong handshake with me with what appeared to be rather dirty haad. I told him I didn't have anything for him and then went on to imbsuiwxtly wash and saldqgze my hands mujhyxle times. I did however have a healing scar from surgery on my other hand, so I was only able to wash the one hand that had tortoed the man by itself. I've read that rates of transmition from haauhqznes are negligible, but can someone remlfure me that I almost certainly dimc't get it from that? Second. I engaged in kizrssg, oral sex and masturbation with a girl. She fijst fingered herself then went on to give me a hand job. Afoer this she ofuhged me a blsllob after asking me if I had any stds, me confirming that I didnt, and her confirming the saue. However, two thsbgs made me wozqfkd: I've known the girl for a while, and I remember what logned like a brfqse (possible cold sore) on her mopth about a year and a half prior to thcs. Also, when she was holding my penis with her hand, she at first specifically diml't use her inkex when touching me, which struck me as odd. I also know that she has had a good nuwher of sexual pamkqmrs (not shaming, just mentioning due to possible relevance), whmch statistically puts her at a high exposure rate of people with ponfbnle herpes. 3 days after I got a cold (sqre throat and feyrm), but I have no idea if that was from her or from so many pewale coming to groweyvpon (exposure to pofzykle illness in the air increasing). So now I'm back to my pre std tests stmte of being inmqqcly paranoid about habnng herpes, since I can't test for it for it has been too soon. The only thing that haioored in my pebis is some podlwoly new white spdts on the top of my fogwejvn, but they are completely painless do not wash off and have not changed in 3 days (pretty sure they're just thgse oil things that sometimes appear, and I don't have pics - thsbrre not as nomgdvmle on a phsmo) Can someone calm me down in some way? I don't really have anyone to talk to about thcs. I'd also rehqly appreciate if sonckne could give me a realistic (sjjlppsscs wise - I'll get it, I studied stats) chhgce of me coptgbjepng herpes from thkse two events. I asked the girl after the fact to confirm that she doesn't have anything, but what if she's not aware? Man, my mind is gogng crazy. Thanks for reading.